This week’s toy is my all-time favorite - the silver bullet vibrator. Some of you may be thinking this is not the most exciting choice, but believe me: there’s a good reason that even though I am constantly receiving free toys in the mail from companies here and abroad, I always come back to my silver bullet.

Silver bullets are great toys to consider for beginners and for seasoned vets alike. Their small size makes them ideal for partner sex or easy-to-maneuver sex by yourself. The small size of the silver bullet is also ideal for packing in a suitcase or the zippered pouch of a purse or overnight bag.

But let’s say you find yourself in possession of a silver bullet and you’re not sure what to do with it. After the jump, you will find a photo of the silver bullet and a diagram I drew indicating a couple of "good to know" things. 

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Apparently only the straights can have legal oral and anal sex, according to reports about new laws in Singapore which legalize these acts legal between a man and woman. The ban on these acts between same-sex couples remains in effect.

Speaking from a public health perspective, law and policy makers often either don’t realize - or don’t care about - the types of health effects of such laws, policies (and the stigma that these laws and policies perpetuate). It is well known among public health groups that when a group is stigmatized because of their behavior (e.g., gay men, commercial sex workers, sexually active adolescents) they become difficult if not impossible to identify - and thus difficult if not impossible to engage in programs or interventions for better health. When it comes to gay men, these laws, policies and the stigma they reinforce about gay sex have made it particularly difficult for public health workers to effectively deal with HIV/AIDS issues in the United States, in India, throughout Africa and in Asia.

In a dream world where we all cared about each others’ well-being, I would like to think that conservative policy makers could get the simple fact that just because they make a consensual behavior legal doesn’t mean that they are saying they support the behavior - it just makes it legal. There are lots of things that are legal that I’m not crazy about or in favor of, but I recognize personal rights to engage in the behaviors - and in the case of health, I think it’s important to remove barriers to discussing life-threatening issues rather than encourage people to hide them even more. And most health issues - HIV/AIDS being a perfect example - have impacts far beyond infection, affecting local and global economies, employment, children, and national security. (Note: for an interesting look at why AIDS has been declared a threat to national security, click here).

Image via this site.

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Georgia is one of a few states in the US that consistently has taken issue with adult bookstores at the state level and at the level of local communities. Here is an example of a community rejecting money from John Cornetta (owner of The Love Shack) in his quest to turn vibrator profit into firetrucks.

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Though we don’t have much scientific evidence to back up the notion of food aphrodisiacs (foods that will cause a relatively rapid or acute increase in sexual desire or interest, or make someone want you), we increasingly have evidence that suggests that lifestyle - including the types of foods you eat, amounts you eat, physical fitness, body fat, smoking habits, drinking habits, sleeping routines - all may be related to sexual function. Too little sleep and you may not find yourself very sexually aroused or interested in sex. Too little or too much body fat (and that may depend on the individual) and your hormonal processes may be off kilter.

We can’t tackle all things "lifestyle" today but if you are interested in learning more about healthy eating, check out what it really means - according to the LA Times - for food to be "light", one of my favorite New York Times pieces (written by Michael Pollan) on what it means to eat healthy foods, and resources from the USDA that are related to eating well (for adults, children, parents, etc).

Image via this site.

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Turns out, according to J.K. Rowling, that Dumbledore was gay - perhaps not surprising coming from the woman who sometimes-explicity, sometimes more subtly, included a diverse range of characters and, through them, examined the nuances of the powers - and challenges - of love and infatuation.

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The Miami Herald artfully dodges providing a vivid description about Key West’s Fantasy Fest - the all-out sexually expressive festival where people walk around practically naked, wear body paint as "clothing" and otherwise do some pretty incredible things in public that come close to rivaling the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco. Check out the web cams later this week here.

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Amid controversy, a French inventor has - through the use of a novel camera - claimed to learn about Leonardo da Vinci’s process in creating the Mona Lisa. That she did, apparenty, have eyebrows and that her smile was originally wider and more expressive. And that the colors were different than those on display in the Louvre today. Click here for the AP news piece and here for more information about and by the inventor.

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For several years running, Sensua Organics lubricant (now sold as Sympathical Formulas lubricant) has been my favorite lube - specifcally, the unscented and unflavored kind. The consistency is smooth and only slightly slippery. It is not at all sticky or tacky. And it includes organic ingredients and none of the ingredients like propylene glycol that I am generally not a fan of in lubricants as it’s associated with irritation in some women and men. 

What are some of the benefits of using a personal lubricant during sex?

1. Comfort - like if you’re having a quickie and don’t have time get naturally lubed up, or if you’re trying to fit something quite big into something quite small. (why do you think they use lube during gyn exams? only they use tons so it gets goopy)
2. Pleasure - it’s yummy goodness when things get slightly slippery between two people.
3. Reduce the risk of tearing - which both makes for comfort and for perhaps a slightly less risk of infection if exposed to a STI.
4. If you are using condoms, then adding lubricant to the outside of the condom may reduce the risk of condom breakage.

But finding the right lube can be difficult. Some are irritating. Some just feel too sticky. Which is why I love Sensua Organics/Sympathical Formulas so much.

Here is a limerick I just wrote about Sensua Organics. I just did this in three minutes so seriously, folks, don’t knock it.

There once was a lube called Sensua Organics.
It was not as slippery as things used by mechanics.
When used sparingly down there
It makes for more fun and fewer tears
If they ever stop making it, I’ll be thrown into a panic

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If you’ve seen or read Little Children, then perhaps you have a sense of how some sex offenders are occasionally treated when they return to live in a community, and about restriction that are in place to keep child sex offenders away from children. This article describes a trailer park in the St. Petersburg area that provides housing, therapy and frequent police surveillance for many sexual offenders, and is managed a woman who says that she herself was sexually assaulted by a child. About half of the residents are convicted sex offenders and it’s an adult-only trailer park. Read more here.

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Sex in a car, sex on a swing set, sex near a fast-asleep friend, sex at a rec center, sex by the lake… oh my my. Read these public sex stories I compiled for an article in the just released Time Out Chicago Sex Issue. And then check out my weekly In&Out column here.

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