Much of what is discussed here on MSP and on other sex sites is relatively privileged sex - privileged in the sense that if one’s major concerns are finding the g spot, enhancing orgasm, or learning to initiate sex more comfortably, then one likely has a relatively decent sense of comfort (in life, if not in love) and room to breathe. When I travel other places, or even when I look more closely in communities here in the US, or among certain groups of people in the US (e.g., those who have been raped, trumatized, severely betrayed, etc) I am reminded just how good many of us have it.

This video includes a self-described "testimony" of one US veteran from the Iraq war. His experience may not reflect the majority of veterans, but it remains his experience and it is what it is. It is a compelling video and not overtly about sexuality, but it did remind me about how hatred, war, violence (of many sorts), and losses (of family members, spouses, partners, children) can affect a person’s sexuality and ability to be intimate with other people. Some of my sex therapist colleagues who work in VA clinics here in the US have been utterly astounded at the young men and women returning from war whose relationships are now severely challenged due to their mental or physical health issues following their military experience. Women and men, throughout the world (Iraq included), who have survived wars can likely identify. Two good resources for individuals dealing with sexuality and disabilty issues are sexualhealth.com and The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability.

Here is the video: (if it is unable to be viewed at the moment, you can find more here).

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I hope that everyone had a lovely Memorial Day weekend (for those readers in the United States). I was in San Francisco and Napa Valley, and it was marvelous. Thanks to Greg at Del Dotto (the cave experience was a wonder, as is the chocolate that they serve with port wine at the end of the tour), Yvonne at Cakebread, the lovely cashier at Mondavi (love the Fume Blanc) for rewarding my honest friend with an extra tasting, and our fantastic waiter at Tra Vigne who clued us into the wonders of their white corn soup ("it’s like a thousand acres of corn fields in each bite!" - he was right) and the fact that they offer half-sized portions so that small-appetited diners (like me) can try a larger variety of plates. Yum, yum, yum.

Thanks, especially, to Michael for sending me a long and educational email about the must-go sites.

French Laundry, can we please set a date next time? (sigh)

[Above image taken in the Valley - that’s me peeking out of a little chapel-like building on the property of a winery that I found endearing).

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I never set out to be anything close to a  "Carrie Bradshaw" although I get compared to her a lot. I still don’t think of myself in that way, considering my path is a bit different. Yes, I write about sex, but I come at it from the angle of not only a woman interested in love/sex/dating but also from the side of science, research and education. And though I enjoy a nice pair of heels, you’re more likely to find me in flip flops. Even so, I was often struck by the poignancy of many a Sex and the City episode, and I’m glad that the movie is out this week. I’m seeing it - anyone else out there?

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This press release was just issued by the NYC Health Department regarding a substance called "Stone" that is apparently sold as an aphrodisiac and can be harmful or even fatal. You can read the release below or go to their web site for more information.

PRODUCT ALERT: ILLEGAL APHRODISIAC CALLED ‘STONE’ CAN CAUSE SERIOUS POISONING AND DEATH

Product Is Also Known as Love Stone, Black Stone, Rock Hard, Hard Rock, or Chinese Rock

NEW YORK CITY – May 23, 2008 – The Health Department today warned New York City residents about an illegal aphrodisiac known as “stone,” which can cause serious poisonings and death. The product is also known as Piedra, Jamaican Stone, Love Stone, Black Stone or Chinese Rock. Last week, an area hospital alerted the New York City Poison Control Center that a man had died after ingesting the aphrodisiac. Similar products were linked to poisonings and deaths during the 1990s.

These products are banned by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) but are imported illegally. Selling them in New York City is also a violation of the New York City Health Code.

Stone, a hard dark brown substance, is typically sold as a solid chunk less than a square inch in size. It may be packaged in a clear plastic bag with some labeling. The product is sold in some adult stores and can also be found in other neighborhood stores. Its active ingredients include several chemicals known as bufadienolides. They are derived from toad venom and some trees and can disrupt the normal rhythm of the heart.

Stone can cause serious heart problems or death when ingested, but can also be harmful when applied to the skin – its typical use. Symptoms of poisoning may include chest pain, abdominal pain and vomiting.

The Health Department advises people who may have obtained and used these products to:

• Immediately stop using them.
• Wrap and discard them as garbage (do not flush down the toilet).
• If you suspect poisoning, call the Poison Control Center at (212) POISONS. Spanish- speaking callers can call (212) VENENOS. Interpretation services are available.

The Health Department has sent an alert to health care providers in New York City, asking them to watch for potential poisonings and to call Poison Control if they suspect a case. The agency is also working with federal authorities to require distributors and store owners to stop selling these products and remove them from shelves and inventory stockrooms.

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I have long loved Al Green, going back practically to my teenage years. This is an old favorite and, as I mentioned in an earlier post, one of the many songs that has been part of my relationship soundtrack(s). If you are new to this song, or simply would enjoy a refresher, play it here now. It is the yummiest music to my ears, even after all this time.

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