In case you aren’t familiar, here’s a taste of the wonderful world of Jamie Lidell. He really shined last night. It was the first time I had seen him perform with a full band; in the past it has just been him, his laptop and his wide-reaching vocals. They put on a great show - so much soul, energy and emotion, and very well-rehearsed or practiced in parts in ways that felt good - and it was, all-in-all, a terrific evening. Enjoy for yourself and catch an upcoming show if you can:

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At the Jamie Lidell show at the 930 Club in DC. Countdown to less than an hour. Yay.

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In Indiana, a controversial law was recently passed - and is slated to take effect on July 1 - that would require businesses tor register and pay a fee if they sell sexually explicit books. However, given that so many shops sell explicit materials whether they are sexual health-related books or erotica that one can find in Borders or Barnes and Noble, or convenience stores that sell adult magazines and books, or sex toy shops that sell sex books, condoms, vibrators or dildos - well, you can see how this quickly became a controversial law. You can listen here to an interesting piece about this issue that was produced by WFIU’s All Things Considered.

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And it isn’t just "have sex every single day of the year" - it’s a "loveseat", as they say. Courtesy of an Ikea ad I snapped in the 13th Street train station in Philadelphia a few months back. I was in town for a meeting and on my way to DC.

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Today I read this quote on my iGoogle page: "Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination"   - Bertrand Russell

Nice. I think it applies to sex research (or any kind of research) as it suggests that though there are limits on what we can and cannot learn or know at any given moment in time, there should be no limits on our vision, creativity or the ways in which we dream of or actually experience something. We don’t understand orgasms, arousal, desire (or the lack of desire), sexual orientation, pleasure or attraction perfectly. There are clear limits on what we currently have been able to learn or discover, and yet we can still explore, experience and expand on our understanding of each of these. And the limits on knowledge can constantly be challenged - so the technology doesn’t exist to measure blood flow to women’s genitals (genital arousal) as accurately as we would like to be able to - thank goodness various research teams are on quests to do just that. A few years ago I was involved in the first ever study of sized to fit condoms (TheyFit condoms) - an invention that was the product of someone (the inventor, a warm and brilliant man named Frank Sadlo) who imagined new ways of creating condoms.

Thanks, iGoogle. Thanks, too, to Eastern Market for providing me with the most delicious chocolate raviolis, which I have been munching on while working today.

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I suppose by placing this ad (now old and outdated), this candidate’s team is to make the opposing candidate look bad for supporting the right of scientists at the National Institutes of Health to fund sexuality research, but it seems to have been received with both disdain and laughter. It can feel disappointing when candidates use these types of methods to attack or smear their candidates, rather than try to engage in intelligent or interesting discussions around policy and the aspects of life that really matter to many of us. It is too bad that this ad was done in a way that seems disrespectful of so many people, and that doesn’t give a true or accurate representation of the type of work funded by NIH during that time, or why it matters (and it does matter). You can read more about the 2003 controversy surrounding NIH funding on The Kinsey Institute’s web site.

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I often wonder what happens when women and men read my column and then…. what? As such, I really like it when readers follow up with me and let me know how things have gone with them.

Case in point: recently, in Time Out Chicago, a woman wanted advice on giving oral sex to her boyfriend, and yet including her best friend on it (apparently, she had been bragging about her boyfriend’s penis to her bff). Curious about what happened? Read the follow-up here.

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The CBS Early Show highlighted a clip from Hillary Clinton’s speech when she bowed out of the presidential nomination race and they highlighted commentary from Pat Schroeder and Ariana Huffington, most notably talking about the sexism that was inherent in media representations of the campaign, and often absent in dialogue about it. As Pat Schroeder pointed out in this piece, ""There’s a tremendous amount of sexism still out there, and society simply doesn’t deal with sexism as it does, say, with racism and anti-Semitism."

This is an important point and one that I have found difficult to talk to some people about throughout the process - in particularly, some who readily saw the race issues that have been abundant in the campaign but rarely the sexist ones. And those women who recognized and were bothered by the sexist comments and portrayals of Hillary, and who also felt like talking with others about them was useless, or that some people "didn’t get" the sexist messages behind the Hillary Clinton nutracker or the various Hillary/witch portrayals (something alluded to on the Early Show - see here for just one reference). 

For those who follow history, politics, civil rights issues or gender issues, you may be familiar with the well-documented notion that while women have often played prominent roles in US civil rights or gay rights movements (see here for another reference), they have rarely found similar support from men in their own pushes for rights, such as with the Equal Rights Amendment.

What does this have to do with sex? Everything. Many sex and relationship issues have their roots in the way that women and men handle power - and whether someone is in an other-sex (man-woman) relationship or a same-sex relationship, we often bring power dynamics to the table, including power dynamics that have their root in the larger society.

Obama delivered a compelling speech related to race, once he was sort of forced to face these issues head-on after the Rev. Wright issues, and I think this country is overdue not only for continued conversations around race, but also for some deep conversations related to sex and gender.

I hope that you will take a moment to watch the clip from the Early Show here and to consider ways in which we can have a more open dialogue about sex and gender issues. Also, of course, I’d encourage you to consider how issues of gender play out in your own life:

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According to this news report, Cuba (well, technically President Raul Castro), has authorized free sex reassignment surgeries (often called "sex change operations") for those citizens who qualify. This is really important news and certainly separates Cuba apart from other countries, such as the United States, in terms of taking a progressive look at providing support for transgender individuals. In the United States, transgender individuals who wish to either use hormones, aesthetic procedures or surgical procedures to change their sex characteristics (e.g. genitals, voice, body hair) often have an extremely high financial burden and little insurance or governmental support. What are your thoughts - should individuals in the US who want to have sex reassignment surgery be able to qualify for government-supported free or reduced rate surgeries?

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I think it’s funny when he refers to guys who use Preparation H to look more defined as "lubed up party guys". He also goes on about their "massive muscles" and them "slathering themselves." Check out the TV clip and commentary from a dermatologist here, thanks to Gawker.

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