Many parents and caregivers have questions about how to teach children about sexuality - when to start, what words to use to describe to a boy’s penis and scrotum or a girl’s vagina or vulva. In this audio podcast, you can listen to a reader’s question about teaching children about sexuality - and my response. Kinsey Confidential podcasts are produced by WFIU, a public radio station at Indiana University, and distributed in partnership with National Public Radio. You can find more Kinsey Confidential podcast episodes on our web site or became a Fan of Kinsey Confidential on Facebook. As always, thanks for listening!

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In this past week’s issue, I answered readers’ questions about breast/penis play (e.g., "boob jobs") in which a woman uses her breasts to stimulate a man’s penis, being sexual (or not) with an HIV positive partner, and vaginal dryness after a woman gives birth. Plus my favorite lubricant! Read the full column here. As usual, if you have a sex question, email it to me at drdebby@mysexprofessor.com

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Note: this is a real text message exchange that I took a screen shot of on my phone. This is what life is often like when your career centers around sexuality - friends text you to ask about sperm.

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I went to my first Atlanta Falcons game this past weekend and on the way out, we spotted this chair, and of course I couldn’t resist climbing on top for a photo. So yes, ask me your sex questions!!! As you can tell from MSP as well as my work with Kinsey Confidential, Men’s Health, Time Out Chicago, and Velocity, I’m happy to respond.

Here I am earlier in the evening meeting Arthur Blank (and his wife, but she’s not pictured).

Somewhere, I have a photo with Freddie the Falcon (mascot) too…. it was a fun night!

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… what are the THREE THINGS that you are most curious about when it comes to vibrators and other sex toys? Who uses them? Where to get them? What’s a good beginner’s toy? How to talk to your partner about them? (and so on)

Please tell me - drdebby@mysexprofessor.com or leave a comment after this post. Thanks!

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The lovely and smart Anna King, a journalism student Columbia University, interviewed me and several other sex and dating columnists some time ago for an article. You can read it here.

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Question: 
Are there any tricks or methods, etc…. that can aid or assist in maintaining or extending the amount of time that a female is wet?  Is there a specific length of time that female can be wet?  Is this an individual thing?  When she is "dry" is feels as if the her vagina is smaller/tighter (not sure if this is possible) or if her arousal "loosens" up the muscles within the vagina and allows for "easier access".  Any thoughts?

Answer:
1) Generally, it is only excitement that extends natural vaginal lubrication, but sometimes even if a woman is super excited she may have reached her personal level of wetness for the day (there is only so much wetness to go around and yes it is individual). Other things can make a woman feel more dry, too, like if she is stressed, if she just had a warm bath or shower, or if she is taking certain medication (some birth control pills - probably particularly low estrogen pills - and antihistamines may be related to less vagina lubrication).
2) Not a specific length of time that I have ever seen.
3) Yes, dryness = more friction so things feel tighter. Wetness = more slippery, less friction, so things feel looser. Kind of like greasing a ring to take it off of a finger - neither the ring nor the finger change size, but it feels looser/comes off quicker. It is also the case that there might be some true difference you are detecting in that if a woman is super aroused, she is likely lubricating quite a bit (very wet) AND, as part of the arousal process, her vagina is probably tenting, which means that it is getting longer and wider, thus making room for penetration.
 
Oh, the wonders of arousal.
 
If you’re in a too-dry situation, you can add lube. If you’re in a too-wet situation, you can use a nearby towel or the sheets to dry things off a bit (you and her). Hope this helps

Debby

[Image via this site.]

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I often wonder what happens when women and men read my column and then…. what? As such, I really like it when readers follow up with me and let me know how things have gone with them.

Case in point: recently, in Time Out Chicago, a woman wanted advice on giving oral sex to her boyfriend, and yet including her best friend on it (apparently, she had been bragging about her boyfriend’s penis to her bff). Curious about what happened? Read the follow-up here.

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In this week’s Time Out Chicago, I answer questions from readers about a partner grappling with gender identity issues, and to what extent marathon vaginal and oral sex sessions may contribute to yeast infections. Read the full column here.

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