This past holiday season, I was with a group at the Mayflower Hotel bar in DC - yes, the same Mayflower Hotel that Eliot Spitzer allegedly met "Kristen" at. A man who was festively singing Christmas music asked me to join in several times. I said that I would join in only if they played Jingle Bell Rock. Well, soon enough the fantastic piano player (bottom left) did just that, which got me out of my seat and joining in song and dance by the piano with the nameless festive man (pictured with me). 

This week, in your relationships, consider trying something a little new or slightly outside your comfort zone. Whether that’s a new way of communicating or a new-to-you type of stimulation (or position) is up to you. You never know - you just might have a blast. I did!

And remember: new things don’t have to be drastic. The slightest variations can make all of the difference. Instead of sitting on separate sofas while you watch television tonight, sit on the same sofa and rub your partner’s feet. Rather than sit home alone, call a friend and chat on the phone. If you’re into missionary (as are most people in the world, it seems) try slight variations by tiliting your hips upward or downward (if you’re on the bottom) or angling your body at 45 degrees or coming in close for kisses and whispered words (if you’re on top).

So many options, so little time…

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This was a fun article to be interviewed for - the best places to do everything, including sex-related things! Check out this Men’s Health article - and my thoughts on sex places - here.

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Two scrumptuous looking cakes from a wedding we went to along the coast of Oregon this summer. The bride’s cake (on the left) was lemon-y. The groom’s cake (right) had chocolate truffles all over it. YUM. I can definitely appreciate the ways in which people combine food with sexuality, romance, love and celebrations. Particularly when it involves choclate.

And since this is a sex blog, why not provide a suggestion or two? If you are using food as part of your sex play, try to steer clear of oil-based foods (like some chocolate sauces) if you are using latex condoms, as oil can cause latex to break. If a woman is prone to yeast infections, she should probably steer clear of having foods near (or in) her vagina. And certainly make sure that your partner is not allergic to any of the items used in your food play! 

That said, if you can safely use food in your sex play, enjoy yourself! Food items can be placed on breasts, chests, backs, stomachs, thighs and more. If you’re in need of inspiration, just think of the Samantha/sushi scene in the Sex and the City movie!

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Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.
  - James F. Byrnes 

This was a recent iGoogle quote of the day. I thought about how it applies to relationships and sexuality, how people sometimes shy away from doing something that might make them vulnerable because they worry about getting rejected. So your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband looks at you funny or says a flat-out no or even a potentially hurtful "are you kidding me, never!?!?!" GIVE IT A TRY! Ask someone out on a date. Share a fantasy with your partner. Initiate sex. Kiss your partner with more passion (and more tongue!) than you have in weeks or months. You don’t have to turn your sex life around in a 180-way overnight; just show a little more passion, a little more enthusiasm, a little more sexiness or energy than you have in recent times.

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I often wonder what happens when women and men read my column and then…. what? As such, I really like it when readers follow up with me and let me know how things have gone with them.

Case in point: recently, in Time Out Chicago, a woman wanted advice on giving oral sex to her boyfriend, and yet including her best friend on it (apparently, she had been bragging about her boyfriend’s penis to her bff). Curious about what happened? Read the follow-up here.

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