This past holiday season, I was with a group at the Mayflower Hotel bar in DC - yes, the same Mayflower Hotel that Eliot Spitzer allegedly met "Kristen" at. A man who was festively singing Christmas music asked me to join in several times. I said that I would join in only if they played Jingle Bell Rock. Well, soon enough the fantastic piano player (bottom left) did just that, which got me out of my seat and joining in song and dance by the piano with the nameless festive man (pictured with me). 

This week, in your relationships, consider trying something a little new or slightly outside your comfort zone. Whether that’s a new way of communicating or a new-to-you type of stimulation (or position) is up to you. You never know - you just might have a blast. I did!

And remember: new things don’t have to be drastic. The slightest variations can make all of the difference. Instead of sitting on separate sofas while you watch television tonight, sit on the same sofa and rub your partner’s feet. Rather than sit home alone, call a friend and chat on the phone. If you’re into missionary (as are most people in the world, it seems) try slight variations by tiliting your hips upward or downward (if you’re on the bottom) or angling your body at 45 degrees or coming in close for kisses and whispered words (if you’re on top).

So many options, so little time…

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I know it’s been a while, but loyal MSP readers know how much I enjoy my old worn copy of "Love is…" What a great image of Woodstock sticking it out, even when all signs point to an end. It makes me think of the depths that good friends go to for each other, and family members being there through thick and thin, and hanging in there with a partner even when he or she breaks one’s heart (and, as they say, every relationship has its betrayals - at least if it survives long enough, it does).

Hmmm….

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I have mostly always been a very happy, cheerful person - except, you know, when it’s hard to be cheerful (and EVERYONE has those days!). Not too long ago when  was in San Fran, this framed print was in my hotel room. Awesome, I thought. I’m totally a poster child for this idea! I firmly believe that blue skies and big puffy clouds are around us all. I also believe that optimism can be cultivated and that it can enhance one’s personal relationships with friends, family members and romantic partners. Try - if you’re interested - in focusing on what you are grateful for in regard to the people around you. What has gone right today? Who really came through for you, even though maybe it was hard for them? Who noticed you or paid attention in a lovely way today?

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Another picture that I took of a coffee shop journal entry. It reads:

I had learned through life experiences to be wary of love. Love hurts. Breaks your soul. But I have discovered that life experiences sometimes are only to make you see the beauty in things to come. Love does not always hurt. Love can invigorate you - dredge you up from the depths of hell. Now, through God’s grace, I understand. I was only being prepared for this, the rarest of all things, the true pure love that I feel for you. Unlike everything I’ve ever known. And I am grateful every day to wake up in the morning and just watch you breathing, laying next to me. I am grateful for every loving gaze into my eyes, every time your arms are wrapped around me. And I am grateful, most of all, that I never completely gave up on love. Thanks to God, and to you, for the joy and wonder that is my life. I love you. Today, tomorrow, forever.

Come on, now. Thoughts, anyone? Were you as moved as I was? Okay, so there is one tiny cynical side of me that thinks, um, was this written by a high school senior or college sophomore (or similar young, inexperienced person) who had one bad high school heartbreak, then fell in love again and now thinks that they have found nirvana? And then there is a bigger part of me that is like, right on! I know! I have been there - all of the "theres", by the way. The sadness. The despair. The heartbreak. Getting to the point where you think "okay, I’m pretty sure I’ll fall in love again one day, but right now I can’t imagine ever being able to fall in love". And then I also know the euphoria, and the calm, and the gratitude of having hung in there and fallen in love again and then going "ah, so THIS is what I was missing before."

Thoughts"?

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I took this photo in one of those coffee shops where they have journals laying around and people write or draw in them. Actually I took a few pictures. Here is just one that I found poignant. I mean, haven’t we all been there? I have! I think most women and men feel afraid, at times, of relationships, falling in love, getting hurt, getting in too deep, their own sexuality, their own potential for loving or lusting after someone. (Sigh). And yet in order to really gain something big you usually have to risk big, too.

It reminds me of a quote that I have long liked: "A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for" (William Shedd)

Go out there - fall in love, get hurt, cry and moan and then get up and fall in love again. I think the pain and lessons are worth it most of the time. What do you think?

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