Archive for the 'Thinking With Your Dick' Category

People want to know about Michael Phelps’ penis

Sunday, August 17th, 2008

Yesterday I wrote about the issue of an outline of Michael Phelps’ penis showing through his Speedo suit and how it appears that his penis was airbrushed out of promo ads of him in his suit. Remember?

Well, it turns out that we here at MSP are not the only ones interested in Phelps’ penis. Yesterday evening alone, people visited MySexProfessor.com purely as a result of searching for various Phelps/penis related terms and then hitting upon MSP. Specifically, last night alone:

- 21 people found MySexProfessor.com as a result of searching for "michael phelps penis"
- 9 got here thanks to a search for "michael phelps penis size"
- 8 for "naked olympians"
- 7 for "michael phelps sexuality"
- 7 by way of searching "phelps penis"
- 5 arrived at MSP after searching "michael phelps cock size"
- 3 found us after searching "michael phelps sex"
- 3 via "phelps penis size"
- 2 via "michael phelps" and "penis"
- 2 arrived at MSP a la "mike phelps penis size"
- 1 "michael phelps" and "penis size"
- 1 "michael phelps" and "oral sex" (I am NOT making this up!!!)
- 1 "michael phelps dick size"
- 1 "michael phelps dick size?" (gotta love the question mark they put at the end)
- 1 "michael phelps std" (seriously??? do they really think the internet is going to list whether someone has an std/sti???)
- 1 "michael phelps’ penis"
- 1 "michael phelps, sex"
- 1 "michael phelps: sexuality"
- 1 "phelps cock size"
- 1 "sex michael phelps"

NOTE: This does not include all the people who searched terms like "michael phelps chest size" or "michael phelps body" or "michael phelps anatomy".

[Image via this site.]

 

Posted in Thinking With Your Dick, Sports, Sex In the News | 2 Comments »

Thinking With Your Dick #4

Monday, March 10th, 2008

(Check out previous TWYD installments here.)

Debby: Check out this article about a guy who was caught having vaccuum cleaner sex.

Dick: i dont really get it. was the vacuum on? if so, i guess i can understand why this would seem like a decent idea. it would suck the hell out of you, but it doesnt really sound like the case from this description. it sounded more like he was humping the side of it or something.  and the link to the stories about guys having sex with bikes and pavement made even less sense. can you fill in the blanks?
 
Debby:  Some guys have sex with vacuum cleaners that are in the on position (perhaps in the off position too, though i haven’t heard of it). It’s not a safe decision as it can cause damage to the penis. I have no idea where they were going with the bike story. All I could think of was maybe in those spaces where the bars are a little close? Unless it was a motorcycle "bike" and then maybe in a pipe?
 
Dick: i think every guy considered the vacuum move before he’d ever had the real thing, but i don’t know anyone who actually tried it. its even more absurd than the pie-humping in american pie. the best part about a BJ is the warmth and the up and down stuff. dry, cold sucking on my guy sounds like torture
 
Debby: You don’t know anyone who ever tried it… do you think guys would tell each other if they actually had tried it? When I say "tell each other" I mean voluntarily, not "dude, can you give me a ride to the ER because my penis got stuck in the vacuum"
 
Dick: i never tried it, and nobody has ever told me they did, but i’m not sure too many people would share that if they had. i can remember considering it when i was about 14 and looking for anything new to yank it with, but it had way too many drawbacks. even as a horny teenager that seemed like a bad idea
 
Debby: One guy told me that he used to masturbate with a banana peel.
 
Dick: that makes a lot more sense. seems like it would get dry and messy, but it least it’s not dangerous (assuming potassium isn’t bad for your wang)

Posted in Masturbation, Thinking With Your Dick | 1 Comment »

Worth reading

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

The comments under recent Thinking With Your Dick installments had been pretty awesome.

Like comments from reader amber who shared stories about "thigh sex" under TWYD #3 - read these stories (one involves her parents) here. Under TWYD#2, Dick and Ed the Gent have been having a mighty entertaining back and forth about Americans, Brits and "vistas" which Ed the Gent has continued on his own blog. Read the MSP comments here and then check out his site.

As long as we’ve got these two, I’m kinda like "writer’s strike? what writer’s strike?"

Posted in Thinking With Your Dick, Random sex stuff | No Comments »

MSP’s Thinking With Your Dick #3

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

Here is the latest installment of Thinking With Your Dick, following a recent conversation we had about bag piping. Yeah, not that kind. If you’re curious who the heck Dick is, or what our past conversations have been like, click here. The latest is below.

Dr. Debby

I was telling (redacted) about axillary intercourse the other day. He hadn’t heard of it. Have you? It’s when a guy inserts his penis into the fold of his partner’s armpit. Good for variety, different type of stimulation or safer sex. Initial thoughts?

Dick

never heard of it. i will try to do it as soon as possible and report back, but this could be a tough sell.   i hinted at putting it in the lady-friend’s butt once and got shot down immediately. doubt that the armpit will be more of an appeal to her.

what’s it called if you fuck the fold of a knee?   how bout the elbow?

Dr. Debby

Generally speaking, some folks lump all forms of dry humping under the term "frottage" (knee, elbow and arm pit included). I haven’t heard of specific terms other than, say, elbow intercourse. But I have heard pit job or bag piping for the armpit sex. I think it would work best if things (penis and arm pit) were lubed up but then again, I’m not a guy. Would it weird you out if a girl suggested it? Would you play along? I think there could be some good "pulsing" possibilities that would be stronger than inside the vagina, but that’s just me.

Dick

this email rules.  pit job and bag piping are officially my two new favorite terms.

i’d be happy to try it out, but i doubt too many girls would want to give it a shot.

 

 

 (Days later…)

Dick

bag piping is the best topic i’ve heard talked about in months, maybe years.   everyone i’ve mentioned it to is amazed.

 (P.S. I took the above photo of the bagpipe bumpersticker while on a road trip - it was parked outside a Cracker Barrel and also had a United Church of Christ bumper sticker on it. The combination of those two stickers, knowing what I was going to use the bag pipe image for, seemed ironic.)

Posted in Thinking With Your Dick | 4 Comments »

He responded

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

If you have not read the second installment of Thinking with Your Dick, you MUST read it here.

Then read the comments - Ed the Gent’s and the follow-up response by none other than Dick himself. The garden hose makes it all worth it.

UPDATE: As of 11pm EST, Ed the Gent responded back to Dick. These guys are killin’ me.

Posted in Thinking With Your Dick | No Comments »

MSP’s Thinking with your Dick #2

Monday, January 7th, 2008

In case you missed earlier conversations with Dick, you can read about him - and our sex talks - here.

Dr. Debby

Have you seen the Forbes.com report on America’s "most lustful" cities? If not, don’t look! Off the top of your head - what cities would you pick and using what criteria to judge the cities that are “most lustful”?

Dick

first city that comes to mind… Tulsa, but that’s just a feeling.

Dr. Debby

Is that just because Tulsa spelled backwards is "a slut"?

Dick

wow, i didnt even realize. it also has ‘lust’ in the name.  i’m sticking by it. my hunch was dead on.

 

(Later on…)

Dick

i’m still trying to wrap my head around what they mean by lustful cities, and i’m fairly certain that Forces and I would define the word differently, but here are my top 5 (excluding Tulsa which we’ve already discussed)…

Dr. Debby

Okay, ready.

Dick

#5. NYC/Miami/San Fran - they’re the obvious choices, so i’m lumping them together. you didn’t say who was lusting over what, and since these three cities have a ton of people lusting over all sorts of crap, i’m putting them on the list.   just about any dude on earth could get his dick wet in one of these cities by any number of people/things.  everyone knows this, and it’s the reason so many people move there, therefore i deem it ‘lustful’

Dr. Debby

I’m from Miami and it certainly is a hot bed of lust, but it’s low on things like mainstream adult bookstores/sex shops and high on sex workers, HIV/AIDS and other STIs. Next?

Dick

Austin, TX - i spent 18 hours there on business and wish i could go back.  UT has tons of hot women, the weather is pretty good, and 6th street is basically Bourbon street with BBQ instead of Po Boys.  to sum it up, one could lust for women, food, or weather and get it all, not to mention 10 gallon hats and belt buckles are totally acceptable accessories.

(The rest of the conversation can be found after the jump).

(more…)

Posted in Thinking With Your Dick | 7 Comments »

MSP’s Thinking With Your Dick: Installment #1

Monday, December 10th, 2007

Every college professor who has ever taught a large lecture hall of students has had a guy student who sits slouched in his seat, has a bored or at least skeptical look on his face, has messy hair suggesting that he overslept (again), and frequently raises his hand to deliver some wise-ass comment. And yet it’s hard to dismiss him given that his comments suggest that he’s at least wide awake, listening, and thinking about whatever you’ve just said.

Women, too - even if they’re not college instructors - tend to have a guy like this in their lives. He might be her brother, friend, cousin, boyfriend or a friend of of her boyfriend’s. He’s the guy who seems to be going for shock value but, in reality, makes good points.

For me, this guy is Dick.

In his own words, Dick is a 26-year-old heterosexual college grad who works in TV and lives in New York.  He’s slept with approximately 15 women, most of whose names he can remember, but only a few of whom he’s ever had sex with more than once, and in full disclosure, one of them poured a beer on his head at a bar shortly after they got busy. He has two fantasy football teams, a two at a time netflix account, a used nissan, and a wardrobe consisting mostly of clothes from the Gap. He considers himself a decent pickup basketball player, better than average golfer, and is proud to have run a marathon in under 3:45.  Dick has an above average tolerance for alcohol, but realizes this could be a problem in the future.  He is curently dating someone, but if she ever read this that would probably change. He is by no means an expert in sex, love, or therapy.

So that’s Dick. And these MSP installments - Thinking With Your Dick - are our conversations.

Dr. Debby
I’ve been pretty fascinated by the Fleshlight lately… have you ever seen it? It’s like a pocket pussy in an industrial sized flashlight-looking container. See here: fleshlight.com - Thoughts? Feelings? Reactions?
Dick
i’d never heard the Fleshlight referred to by its proper name. i thought all those items were just known as pocket pussies. maybe that’s sorta the same way we call all tissues Kleenex. who knows?
Dr. Debby
Well the fleshlight is special because it comes in a flashlight-looking case and has a dial at the bottom that allows you to control the suction, make it tighter feeling (or less loud if you have roommates).
Dick
Now that I’m on the site, i’m pretty fascinated by this fleshlight thing as well. there are 3 questions that come to mind immediately - can you help explain any of this before i lay down 60 bucks?
#1. under the ‘choose an orifice’ tab, why are there 4 choices? have they found a new hole, and if so, who has it?

Read the rest of our conversation after the jump.  (more…)

Posted in Thinking With Your Dick | 2 Comments »