Becoming Orgasmic is one of those classic treasures - and one of the only really good quality books about orgasm. In fact, back in the day it was shown to be just as effective as sex therapy for helping women to have an orgasm. So many books today put female orgasm on a pedestal and say that if you just relax and “explore your body” and/or use a vibrator, you will get there. Right. Tell that to the women who are holed up in the bedrooms, breathing deeply, trying to make it happen - or their partners who are sweating it out, playing mad finger games or penis games or trying every possible tongue trick, only to get squat.

Like riding a bike, once you get the hang of it, it’s fairly easy. Not easy like 1-2-3-Snap! kind of easy. But it’s doable in a good many sexual encounters. So how do you get that first or second or fifth orgasm? What does it mean to “relax” or to “explore your body”?

Back in 1976, Dr. Julia Heiman and Dr. Joe LoPiccolo spelled it out in this book. Like many sex therapists, they saw that in order to get most women’s orgasms going, many women and their partners tended to just need a little sex education and a few directed “exercises” - not intensive therapy. The book was revised in the 1980s and though the language is a bit outdated in parts (like the use of the word “buxom”), the content is still valuable to women today. Check it out.

And if you do want some sex therapy for support, guidance, information or to help you deal with some issues you want a little help with? Check out the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists where you can search for a counselor or therapist in your area. And if you don’t want an orgasm? Not a big deal - don’t let mainstream media pressure you into thinking that orgasms are all the rage - people vary in terms of what they want. Listen to what feels right for you.

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