Although breast and nipple stimulation are common elements of sex play, it’s not unusual for couples to have different ideas of just exactly how nipples and breasts should be stimulated. People often ask me how to touch their partner’s breasts (boobs) for better sex. When in doubt, take your partner’s word for their preferences! Ask your partner how he or she likes to be touched. If you’re not sure what he or she means, ask your partner to show you on their own body or on your body, even if just briefly.

Often, when it comes to nipple and breast sex play, people find it surprising but helpful to understand a bit about breast sensation. For example, although the nipples come to mind for many people when they think about sex, in fact the nipples are the least sensitive part of women’s breasts, according to some research. So what makes top grade when it comes to breast sensation? The tops and bottoms of the breasts, then the sides, followed by the areola (the darker area surrounding the nipples) and finally the nipples. 

That doesn’t mean that just because an area is sensitive that it’s the part that women or men want to have touched during sex play, but it does give some sense of how breast touch may feel different on different parts – and for different people (particularly as women with smaller breasts often have more sensitive breasts than women with larger cup sizes, according to research).  

To experiment with different types of breast play, try touching your own chest or breasts in different areas – the tops, bottoms, sides, etc. What feels good? What parts feel arousing to be touched? Are there different types of touch or rhythms that you enjoy more or less than others? How do you enjoy touching a partner?

In my forthcoming book, Because It Feels Good (which you can pre-order on Amazon.com) you can find specific suggestions about how couples can use show and tell exercises to learn what types of touch and sex play feel good for each other, thus resulting in better, more pleasurable sex.

[Image by bengarland via Flickr Creative Commons.]

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