A few years ago, I attended a conference at which University of Kansas professor Dr. Charlene Muehlenhard presented data regarding men who fake (or as she put it, “pretend”) to have an orgasm during various types of sex with a partner. Often women are characterized as the gender that pretends to orgasm when, in fact, men may pretend to orgasm, too.

In this particular study (published in a recent issue of the Journal of Sex Research), Dr. Muehlenhard and her team found that of the 180 men and 101 women (all college students) they surveyed, about 1 in 2 women had pretended orgasm as had 1 in 4  men. Given how many men I’ve heard from who have faked orgasm, I wasn’t that surprised when I first heard these results – but I am glad that the information is getting out there.

Though we often talk about orgasm as being difficult for many women to experience, it is sometimes difficult for men to experience as well. Though only a small proportion of men experience significantly delayed or inhibited orgasm (that can take 45+ minutes to experience, if at all), a larger number of men experience occasional difficulties with orgasm. Some men find it difficult to orgasm when they wear certain types of condoms or if a condom doesn’t fit them well. Other times, men find it difficult to orgasm if they’re not all that aroused by their partner, such as if they had sex just because the person was available (and not because they truly wanted to be with that person). Similarly, medications such as some anti-depressants can get in the way of sexual response, including orgasm.

For a whole host of reasons, men – like women – may find it difficult to come. And yet men (again, like women) may pretend to orgasm so as not to disappoint their partner, to save face, to give their partner an ego boost, or to end sex quickly. Personally, I’m not a big fan of faking orgasm even though I understand why some people do so. I tend to favor more open communication about sex in which people feel as though they have the space to say that they’re tired and just want to go to sleep or something isn’t quite working for them tonight, as much as they like the person. What do you think about pretending to orgasm? Ever done it? Wish you hadn’t? Think it’s fine?

Related MSP Posts:
- How to Orgasm During Sex: Tilt Your Hips!
- The Coital Alignment Technique
- How can I get my libido back? Should I fake it?

[Journal of Sex Research]

Read More: ejaculation, fake orgasm, Orgasm, 

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