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Let me first start this out by saying that I love baseball. If you’re out with me and there’s a television showing a baseball game, especially if the World Series is on, you may have a difficult time getting my full attention. When I travel, I love to be able to catch a game in person. The Padres are one of my favorite teams (don’t stop reading just yet!) and I loved being able to see them at Petco Stadium play the Pittsburgh Pirates in May when I was in San Diego for a conference. (FYI: you can get standing room tickets for only $5 at the gate day of game. The Park is gorgeous and there are a few places to grab a seat, but some of the standing room spots garnered a better view than an actual seat).

So what’s with the baseball talk? I’m not going to talk about the last time I got a home run (heck, I play softball in the summer and I get so excited when I hit the ball that I just stand there. I forget to run because I expect to have not hit the ball). I was giggling when I read that a Philadelphia court overturned a case, and essentially said it was okay to trade sex for tickets to the World Series (if you are interested, it was in 2009 when the Phillies played the Yankees). Apparently Susan Finkelstein was charged with prostitution when in order to try to get tickets to the World Series game she placed a rather racy ad – she says she was trying to flirt her way into some discounted tickets. Her ad didn’t specifically state that there would be sex, just that she had “creative” approaches. When someone responded to her ad (naturally, it would be an undercover police officer), she sent them some topless photos of her. The police say that she offered them sex acts for those prized tickets. However, the week of Christmas a court decided that they would overrule the charge of prostitution and lower her charge – Ms Finkelstein is on probation and has some community service to do (probably not involving sending some racy pictures).

I had some major Phillies fans in my Tuesday night class this semester, and during one of their last games this year, I allowed for text updates (I may have desired them more than my students from Philadelphia!). I also would absolutely love to catch a World Series game in person, and have added it to my own little bucket list. I’m not a fantastic flirt, so I can’t even say I’d flirt my way into some great tickets, but I’ve had several friends flirt their way into a good deal when buying a car, getting out of a speeding ticket, and more. I’m also not rich, so when I can get a deal or a discount, I go for it – however, I’m not sure offering up some sex for tickets is quite up my alley, especially with a stranger. I scored some amazing seats to a Giants game in San Francisco this summer (not far behind third base) and that just involved a few clicks on my lap top, no photos of me necessary (clothed or otherwise). Now, I know that World Series tickets are a whole other deal – super hard to find, very expensive if you can. I’m just not sure how far I would go. Maybe I’m boring, but when I hear about the extent that people will go for in order to get tickets to a baseball game or even a concert, I get a little wary. I definitely would not be the girl in the middle of the mall shaving her head for Justin Bieber tickets (well, I wouldn’t want Justin Bieber tickets anyway, but that’s another story).

How far would you go for some great tickets? Would you send some naked photos of yourself for World Series tickets? How about just for a regular game in town? Do you think Ms Finkelstein should have been guilty of prostitution? Talk with me about this.

Find us on Twitter @mysexprofessor and find Holly, the author of this post, @ItsHollyAgain

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Many thanks go to Feministing for pointing out this study demonstrating that there are no reports of child abuse within lesbian households (as opposed to 26% of American adolescents overall, ostensibly from heterosexual households, who report parent or caregiver physical abuse). One more reason not to discriminate against parents claiming a different sexual orientation than the norm.

Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor. Follow Jeana, the author of this post, @foxyfolklorist.

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A benefit performance of The Vagina Monologues featured this dance, in which the bodies of the dancers combine to suggest various facets of women’s genitals. I found it quite striking and beautiful.

Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor. Follow Jeana, the author of this post, @foxyfolklorist.

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This post by a feminist lawyer and Ph.D. scholar piqued my interest, as the author addresses how Islamic law and feminism are not always at odds. The author describes a case study in which she was able to help an immigrant woman, divorced and left helpless, utilize Islamic law (as well as her personal faith) to her benefit. It’s worth a read if you’re interested in overlap between different value systems that affect gender roles and sex.

Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor. Follow Jeana, the author of this post, @foxyfolklorist.

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Recently my sister posted this video to my Facebook page—and although my initial reaction was to laugh—after watching it a few times (and yes, I probably watched it about 4 times), all I could think was, “Is THIS really what we consider entertainment?”

Now I’m assuming that most people can see EXACTLY what is wrong with this picture. But for the sake of this post—I’ll give you the break down.

(more…)

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Check out this incredible video about the history of gay rights in the US. You’ll recognize Alfred Kinsey, Dan Savage, Hillary Clinton, President Obama, Harvey Milk, Rachel Maddow, Sarah Silverman, Ellen DeGeneres, and so many others. Unfortunately there are also a number of young men who most of us never got to meet because they ended their lives as a result of bullying, or their lives were ended for them as a result of homophobia, hatred and violence.

Watch the clip above and, if you can, donate on Kickstarter. And of course do what you can in your own communities to make things better right now. Take a stand against bullying. Support a kid (or adult) in need. Support laws and policies that offer equals rights to everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity – including the right to marry.

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Because I write sex columns and articles for various magazines and newspapers, I end up receiving press releases for various sex books, products and services that, as a research scientist and sex educator at Indiana University, I would normally not receive. Occasionally the press releases are for products that I can appreciate and feel will benefit people, such as a recent release I received for Hanne Blank’s updated book “Big, Big Love”.

More often, these releases are for products and services that I don’t feel will be helpful to people and, occasionally, may even be harmful to people or – at the very least – include factually inaccurate or suspicious information.

I’m not always sure how to respond. I often wonder, for example, if it’s better to ignore the “not so great” (or potentially dangerous) products/services in hopes that – if ignored long enough and by most people – they will simply go away? Or should I challenge them more openly?

Today’s example that pushed me over the edge was a press release for something called the “O-Shot” (and as you can say, it bothered me enough that I wanted to respond to it publicly). Here are some thoughts/red flags:

1. The headline says “O-Shot May Improve Female Sexual Response” in big bold letters.
Note the use of the word “may”. In other words, it hasn’t been tested and shown, scientifically, to improve female sexual response. Also, “female sexual response” is very vague indeed. Do they mean arousal? Orgasm? Desire? They’re not specific in the headline and I take this as a red flag.

2. Another red flag? Sex scientists I know don’t recognize anything called the “O-Spot”. 
That’s right: they seem to have made up the term. Or, as they say in the release, they injected (Eeks!) stuff – what they say are “growth factors derived from a woman’s own blood” into “the upper wall of the vagina and the clitoris”. They claim to have also injected the so-called G Spot area without effect. As such, they write:

“This area of responsiveness is distinct enough from the ill-defined ‘G-Spot’ that we felt it deserved its own name. The name we chose is the ‘O-Spot™’ (“Orgasm Spot™’) and we have termed the procedure involving the injection of growth factors into this area the ‘O-Shot™’ (Orgasm Shot™).”

ANOTHER red flag, right? It seems that they are trying to create a (trademarked) product and a (trademarked) name for the area of a woman’s vagina. Do we really need to be trademarking a name for the area of a woman’s vagina? Are you kidding me?

3. Their focus is then described as being about helping women to have “vaginal orgasms.”
The use of the term “vaginal orgasm” is contested territory in sex research, with significant disagreement on a variety of levels. Let me say for the time being: this is yet another red flag.

4. Later in the release, they claim that about 40% of women experience sexual dysfunction. 
My response: Whenever you see this figure being touted, be VERY cautious and ask if someone is trying to sell you something. The 40% figure is *extremely* problematic in sex research and has often been cited by people like  Laura Berman (another problematic media personality in the field of sex; see this article in the LA Times about her and her sister, Jennifer Berman, or watch Orgasm Inc or read a previous post about labia puff procedure). Think of it this way: if 40% of women experience something – almost HALF of women in American – does that sound like a dysfunction to you? Or a common experience? If you would like to learn more about the problematic nature of the 40% figure, see for example this article or this one.

5. Their statements are premature. 
In the press release, it is noted “because it has not been yet been studied in a comprehensive way, all women should undergo this procedure only as part of a clinical research trial.” If the data are so premature, why are they issuing a press release that touts the supposed benefits and outcomes and only later on, kind of sneaks in the information quietly that it hasn’t really been tested well, etc.

If you are a journalist writing about this procedure or another sexual health topic, please know that I would be happy to speak with you about the scientific aspects of sexual health research and I would also be happy to refer you to colleagues who have expertise in various aspects of sexuality research.

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The idea of sexual orientation is a complicated one. There’s a certain comfort in believing that you’re “hard-wired” to be a certain way, especially for minority or stigmatized groups who can justifiably say, why would I choose this given how hard it is to be this way? I think this also connects to how in the Western world, identity is seen as something stable and intrinsic; yeah, people will change over time, but you are who  you are at your very core and you were probably born that way.

Sex activist Clarisse Thorn has promulgated the idea that BDSM (a configuration of activities including bondage and domination, sadism and masochism, domination and submission) is a sexual orientation. This may seem strange at first, especially if you’re used to hearing that being gay or straight is a sexual orientation. But Thorn draws parallels to other sexualities, for whom their orientation is something they simply cannot change, regardless of whether they’re in a relationship or not. It’s a little more complicated for some BDSM practitioners, however, for as Thorn observes, it is experienced as an ingrained orientation for some, yet as a take-it-or-leave-it fun activity for others. While acknowledging that the term “orientation” is problematic, Thorn retains it, stating: Because so many people, at this point, have accepted the LGBTQ orientation as something that should not be stigmatized — the word “orientation” can really help them understand what BDSM means to us and why it’s not okay to stigmatize that, either.

I find this all really interesting and thought-provoking, but it’s also a little abstract. That’s why I was so excited to see this post which details the author’s coming to terms with a BDSM orientation using personal narrative. It’s a brave and scary thing to put one’s personal experiences out there, and it can help others to understand how people process and put labels on their experiences.

The author noticed that arousal stemmed “not from a reaction to a particular gender (or a particular person), but from a shifting bodily response to an entrenched, deep-seated psyche-world,” which eventually became translated in the external world to BDSM. This is fascinating and wonderful, as it shows just how multifaceted human sexuality can be.

I’m inclined to agree with Thorn that BDSM is a sexual orientation; or at least, it’s close enough to be used as one to help individuals negotiate the social and sexual challenges they face. And since figuring out one’s sexual desires can be tough work, I’m in favor of having all of the possible tools at one’s disposal.

Follow us on Twitter @mysexprofessor. Follow Jeana, the author of this post, @foxyfolklorist.

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Valentine’s Day is less than a month away. And though it’s been a while since I’ve made gift suggestions, I always hear such good things from readers who end up buying the gifts that I thought I should do it again.

As I’ve recommended time and again, I think StoryPeople prints (or sculptures, books, etc) are a wonderful way to go. A few of my favorite love-themed ones:

Making Room

In case you can’t read the small font (the real print is much larger and clearer, of course), it says:

“When I first met him, I knew in a moment I would have to spend the next few days re-arranging my mind so there’d be room for him to stay.”
Find it on the StoryPeople site (there is also a version about a woman).

Another one I like is Just Friends. 

That story reads:

“I saw them standing there pretending to be just friends, when all the time in the world could not pry them apart.”

Find it, or another story that speaks to you, here.  A third choice is Hard to Forget. 

This story, available on StoryPeople, reads:

“I was waiting for such a long time, she said. I thought you forgot. It’s hard to forget, I said, when there is such an empty space when you are gone.”

Love these stories. As many of you know, I’ve been a Brian Andreas/Story People admirer (and collector) for years. Two of my favorite pieces of art at home are by him and I’ve been so happy to hear from a number of you who have discovered Brian’s work through MSP,  as I feel his work is imbued with love and an appreciation of life and family. Given how much I adore Brian’s work, I was particularly honored to publish my first children’s book with my his new-ish press. It’s called The I Love You More Book – and it’s for children of all ages, including adult boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, and secret crushes. The I Love You More Book is available on StoryPeople.com as well as through Amazon and your favorite local independent bookstore.

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Courtesy of The Durango Herald

This week in bizarre news: A high school senior from Colorado may take her school to court because they refused to include her senior portrait in the yearbook.

But why is her photo not yearbook-worthy? Apparently Durango High School claims that the photo of Miki Spies is too sexy for a school publication.

The picture that Spies submitted for the book shows her sporting a yellow skirt and a black bandeau/shawl top that exposes her midriff and back (see image at right).

Thus far, there are basically two compelling points that are being made.

Argument One: Durango High School  claims the photo is not fit for print because her attire violates school dress code (which states that shirts must tops “fully cover the chest, back, abdomen and sides of the student”).

Argument Two: Spies counterargument is that until DHS has a legtiamate policy that spells out what students can and cannot wear in yearbook photos, the school cannot tell her not to use the image as her senior picture. She also believes this is a violation of her free speech, because according to Colorado Revised Statutes Section 22-1-120, “students of the public schools shall have the right to exercise freedom of speech and of the press” and that “no expression contained in a student publication, whether or not such publication is school-sponsored, shall be subject to prior restraint.”

Hm. Tricky stuff.

And to add to the rolling media attention, Spies (accompanied by her mother and fellow students) stood outside the high school on Wednesday (Januray 4th) protesting the school’s decision. They held posters that read slogans such as “We will NOT be intimidated by the administration”.

And apparently on Friday (January 7th), there was suppose to be a “final decision” on whether or not the photo was to make the book — but thus far, no verdict has been reached.

So now what?  The Spies’ family is hitting the Big Apple. According to an article from the The Durango Herald, Miki and her mother are to appear on the “Today Show” (either Jan. 9th or 10th) to spill the details on what happens next.

So is all this really necessary for a YEARBOOK PHOTO? — I’ll let you guys share your thoughts in the comment box.

But before I open up the floor, might I add that 1) When I was in high school (which was not THAT long ago), no 18-year-old would be caught dead wearing that in their photo (well…merely because our mothers would not let us wear something that looked like that in a senior picture), and 2) Hate to break it to Miki — but once you get to college, those super awesome senior photos won’t even cross your mind and (SPOLIER ALERT) half the people just end up throwing out their friends’ wallet-sized senior pics after a year or so anyways.

Learn about MSP posts as they happen by following us on Twitter@mysexprofessor or make friends with us on Facebook. You can also follow Madeline Haller, the author of this post, @voiceMLINE.

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