Sex in public spaces
Thanks to reader Anne for sending me a link to this article about why (and how and where) people have sex in (potentially) public spaces. You know - like sex in parks, dressing rooms, bathrooms, stores, churches, cars on the side of the road or parked behind abandoned buildings or closed shops, etc.
What is it about having sex in public? What’s the appeal? This article gets at little bits of it, particularly for those who choose to have sex in public because they want the thrill of maybe being caught or of being a bit exhibitionist. But I contend that there is another type of public sex that has little to nothing to do with that. Sometimes two people have such strong desires for each other - and maybe it only happens once in your life (one particular relationship) - that they literally cannot seem to not have sex immediately. Maybe it happens two or three times, ever, if you’re particularly fortunate or experienced.
This is what I am talking about: that, if the two were home, they would have sex privately. But if they are out in public, and it feels uncontrollable (even though, of course it likely is controllable), then that may explain at least a portion of the broom closet or bathroom sex events.
A 50-ish woman once told me about a relationship of hers that had just ended. She had had several very long-term monogamous relationships in her life, and a few flings and short relationships too. But not until her 50s did she come across a partner that she had such an unbelievable chemistry for - another woman who she had such strong chemistry with that they found themselves having sex in very risky, potentially public situations. Fortunately they had not got caught, and that wasn’t what she said they were after; it was just the immediacy factor. They simply had to be sexual with each other right then and there, when the feelings came on. Their desires were almost unquenchable The relationship was passionate and fiery in many ways but it was also short-lived (less than a year).
I know other women and men who have had similarly strong (and, again, relatively short-lived) sexual relationships. What is it about them? And how they drive ordinarily well-controlled, rational and patient women and men to act in ways that they perhaps would otherwise not? Is there a biological urge with some people that is particularly stronger than with others? One might argue that perhaps those are the best biological matches from an evolutionary perspective to mate with but then again (a) it seems many of those relationships are short-lived and not compatible in emotional ways and (b) how to account for the same-sex attractions that are just as strong as the other-sex attractions?
So what is it? And what do you think? Do you jump head first into these? Have you ever had such strong attractions? Did you have sex in potentially public spaces? And what is related to the thrill of getting caught or just because you felt like you absolutely had to have sex right that minute?
